He’s so bad, but he does it so well.

by Justin

imageHis words struck me as cold. My vision went pitch-black, my pulse quickened, my hands trembled. I had just showered that evening but I felt as if sweat was crawling all over my body. Then there were tears running down my eyes.

I felt defeated. For the nth time.

My closest friends have always been frank that I should stop letting myself fall for his fast-food love. They say I deserve to be treated fairly and be respected. What I have with him is a broken record. The fighting and keeping secrets go on and on. The routine doesn’t stop. And I just go with it. I keep coming back.

I don’t know what is wrong with me!? If it’s masochism or plain stupidity, I’m not sure which best fits what I had been doing the past 3 years. He tells me one thing and does the complete opposite. Every. Single. Time. I honestly want to let go. It’s just I love him this much that it weighs greater than all of his lackings and failures as a so-called lover.

This is all fvcked up.

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